My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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