her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
