i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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