The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
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