Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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