I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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