That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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