The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
