So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
