1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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