I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
