ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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