people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
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my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
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I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
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