how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
