I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
