dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
