im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
