I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He kissed a someone with a penis
My pussy is not your playground.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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