i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
