I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
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kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
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He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!