i just wanna soil my oats bro
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm