My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.