First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
