There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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