I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
