Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
