Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
