You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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