I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
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you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
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Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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