I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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