why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
