We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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