i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
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my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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