this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
