Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
