Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
They are going to name an STD after you.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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