She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
