Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Randomize