at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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