I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Vodka?
Forever.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
