My balls are so social today.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
