If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
