I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
He has the fingertips of a God
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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