kristin has been a bad kristin
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
