I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
