Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
