i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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