I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
