Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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