Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
