I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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