your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
