well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
