Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
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Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
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His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize