I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
