i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
