Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
