Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
