you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
