p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize