lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
