there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Drake has all the answers
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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