k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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