I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
i think my cat just said my name.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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